So, you won't be having an arranged marriage?

How did I manage to snag a man who comes from a world tied to the idea and tradition of arranged marriages? Honestly, I'm still asking myself how I managed to do so!

When I first started dating Raj, he told me very early on that this relationship could be very hard. His parents may not take well to the news of him having an American girlfriend. In his culture, dating is happening more and more, but it's still pretty taboo. It didn't help either that I was American.

Why? Why would it matter that I'm American? Several reasons really. Indian's have their stereotypes of American women. Most of them are easily understandable, but that doesn't mean it applies to all of us. In Indian society the bond between parent and child is like nothing I've ever seen. They are extremely close. Making ones parents unhappy is a huge no-no.

Raj and I were both so nervous about telling his parents. Early in our relationship I used to google silly things trying to find other American girls who have gone through similar situations. Many of them said to RUN from Indian boys who refused to ever tell their parents. A lot of times these girls would be with their Indian man for years, and perhaps even have a child together, never telling the parents. Then the boy would visit home and just one day come back (or not even come back) . . . having had an arranged marriage to an Indian girl.

I was horrified. There was no way I could handle something so painful!

BUT, I wouldn't have to. I found myself an honest, genuine person.

He told his family pretty early on. I think he told his sister first, then his dad, and then his mom. I'm not sure that he's ever really given me the full play by play of that conversation, and I'll probably never know how it blew over, but I think it must have been tense.

However, they've tolerated it. At least, as far as what Raj was telling me. Every once in awhile he would relay to me comments they had made and I felt really disheartened. Here I was falling crazy for this boy and I didn't know if we could be together. I fully understood that he comes from a culture entirely different from mine, and that if he had to do what he had to in order to please his parents, I would accept that the best I could.

When I finally got to meet his family, it was hard to say the least. I was terrified the whole time. It's not just the language, and cultural barrier. I was there with his mama bear! I had to tread very carefully. I know it was a hard trip for her, especially seeing us living together (this is something you almost NEVER see in India, it's not considered a good thing)

I did fall in love with his family though. I've never met a more united and close family in my life, and in heart they are all such goodhearted people. I don't know what happened or how, but it truly seems as though they've come around.

Raj is in India currently to attend his sister's wedding and just today he texted me that everyone is missing me and the relatives that know about us (only the close family knows so far) have been asking about me. That's such a wonderful, uplifting feeling! I've found myself really growing fond of his family. After all, if t wasn't for them I wouldn't have Raj!

I hope this can be of some encouragement. Just as Indians may have stereotypes of us American women, we too have our stereotypes of Indian men. Any type of stereotyping is wrong because in the end we are all human, some of us just bound to cultural tradition. Never let a steroetype or a bad story keep you from being with someone, because had I let that get to me, I'd be missing out on the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

Butter Chicken

Butter chicken is a delicious, creamy, mildly spiced dish. Butter chicken is very popular in buffets at Indian restaurants in the states. To me, this is perfect comfort food. A big heap of butter chicken on top of basmati rice is perfection. My photo may not seem like much to look at, but this dish tastes amazing!

Ingredients: Chicken

• 1 lb boneless chicken, cut into bite size pieces
• 1/2 c. plain yogurt
• 1 tsp ginger, grated
• 1 tsp garlic, grated
• 1 tsp red chili powder
• 1 tsp salt

Ingredients: Gravy

• 1 onion, chopped
• 1.5 c pureed tomatoes (I used roma, and puree them myself. You can use store bought)
• 2 tbsp butter
• 1 tbsp oil
• 1 tsp cumin seeds
• 1 tsp mustard seeds
• 1 tsp ginger, grated
• 1 tsp garlic, grated
• 1-2 green chili's, chopped
• 1 tsp red chili powder
• 1 tsp garam masala
• 1/4 tsp fenugreek leaves
• chopped coriander leaves
• 1/4 c. heavy cream

Directions:

1. Place your chicken, yogurt, chili powder, and salt in a bowl and mix it all together. Try and let this marinate for an hour.

2. Pre-heat your oven to 475 degrees. Place your chicken on a baking sheet in a single layer (I recommend covering it with foil, makes clean-up so much easier!). 

3. Cook chicken for 15 min, or until no longer pink. Once the chicken is cooked all the way, I like to put it under the broiler until the top starts burning. That part is optional, but I think it makes it way better.

See what I mean about needing the foil? Once your chicken is done, set it aside so you can get started on the gravy!

4. In a pan with high sides, add the butter and oil on medium high heat.

5. When it's good and hot add add the cumin and mustard seeds. When they start popping add onion,ginger, garlic, and green chili's (I was out, but that's okay!)

6. Let this cook until the onions become translucent. Then add the red chili powder and garam masala, let this cook for about 30 seconds.

7. Add the pureed tomatoes and let cook for about 2 minutes. 

8. Add chicken to the gravy and mix it in.

9. Set this to simmer and put a lid on. Let this cook for 15 minutes.

10. After 20 minutes, add the fenugreek leaves, heavy cream, and cilantro leaves. Mix it all together and let it cook for about 5 more minutes on medium heat.

And we're done! I love eating this dish with basmati rice, but it would also go well with some roti.

Bread Pakora

Bread pakora's are delightful. If you have a cheat day in the week I'd recommend trying these. Bread pakora's are pieces of bread that are dipped in a spiced batter and deep fried.There are wonderfully crunchy on the outside, and soft and chewy on the inside. I prefer to just eat this with ketchup, but they can also be served with your favorite chutney. This recipe is super easy, super fast.

Ingredients:

• 1 c. besan flour
• 1-2 green chili's, finely chopped
• 1 tsp ginger, grated
• 1 tsp garlic, grated
• 1 tsp garam masala
• 1 tsp red chili powder
• 1 tsp salt, or to taste
• 1-1.5 c. water
• Sliced bread, cut into triangles
• 1-2 c. oil

*If you'll notice, I was missing the ginger, garlic, and green chili's, but that's fine! I always just use what I have on hand.

Directions: 

1. In a large pan with high sides, add about 1-2 inches of oil and set on medium-high to heat up.

2.  In a large bowl, mix the besan, ginger, garlic, green chili's, garam masala, red chili powder, salt. The amount of water you need always varies. Start by adding a little at a time and mix thoroughly. You're looking for a nice, batter-like consistency. 

3. Add the onions and mix them in.

4. Now take your bread triangles, and one at a time coat them in the mixture. Then quickly add them to the hot oil.

5. Let them fry for about 2 minutes on each side.

6. You want them to turn a nice golden-brown color.

7. Once they're done, place them on a plate lined with paper towels to allow the excess oil to drain off.

And that's it! Your bread pakora's are ready to eat!

How It Started

This way Raj and I came into our relationship is embarrassing to say the least. It's nothing major, but we like to shy away from how it really came to be. We hated the "so how did you guys meet?" question. Our answers ranged from "we met at school" (we didn't even go to the same school!) to "he was a friend of a friend". These inconsistencies quickly caught up with us, so I might as well say the truth and get it out.

Deep breath . . .

Okay. We met on craigslist. Yes, craigslist. I supposed in today's world couples meeting online isn't a rare occurrence, but for some reason it doesn't feel like something to be proud of. I don't know, maybe it's just me being weird.

I was in my final semester at Indiana State, and one night I decided to make a random post on the personals section. I never intended for this to lead to anything. I figured I'd make an honest posting and get a little amusement out of whoever decided to reply. Most people sent unwanted photo's that were inappropriate, or didn't reply back. A couple of people gave me a small amount of entertainment, but otherwise it was just wanted I expected. A time pass.

However. I got an email from this guy, Raj Singh. He's reply was pretty simple. It didn't tell me much about himself, but I had this instinct that told me to pursue this one.

We sent a few emails back and forth and eventually I did give him my number. His first text to me was "yello" to which I replied "I'm not yellow" and the rest is history. We really hit it off, as much as people who'd never met in person could hit it off. We texted like crazy and skyped once or twice. It wasn't all that long before we decided to meet.

I was still living in Terre Haute finishing my degree, and  he was finishing up an engineering internship in Indianapolis. He didn't have a car at the time, so it was up to me to go there.

Let me tell you, it was the scariest thing I'd ever done in my life. So many times I almost convinced myself to just go back home, but I didn't. I just felt like I really had to meet him. What if he was a serial killer? Or what if he met me and was like "oh my god, just no?".

When I got to his apartment he met me outside and hugged me first thing. We just hung out that day talking and watching movies (at least, attempting to, if we could have stopped talking!).

After that we were hooked. I would look forward to every weekend so I could come see him, or he would come and see me. We really hit it off. Not to get all gross and sappy, but I'd never felt that way about anyone else the way I do Raj. He's definitely the "partner in crime" I'd always hoped for.

Pav Bhaji

From what I've heard, Pav Bhaji is a very famous Indian street food that originated in Mumbai, the city Raj is from! Pav bhaji is also available in restaurants, and I'm going to show you how easily it can be made at home! It is a delicious food consisted of mashed vegetables (bhaji) and spices, eaten with buttered bread (pav).

Ingredients: Bhaji

• About 2 c. of mixed vegetables*
• 4 tomatoes, finely chopped (I used roma)
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 inch ginger, grated
• 1 green capsicum (bell pepper), finely chopped
• 1-2 green chili's, chopped
• 2-3 tbsp butter
• 1 tsp tumeric
• 1 tsp red chili powder, or to taste
• salt, to taste
• 1-2 tbsp pav bhaji masala*

Ingredients: Pav

• soft bread roll, I used hamburger buns (amount depends on how much you want/are serving)
• butter

*The best think about bhaji is that you can use any kind of vegetables you want! For this recipe shown I used a mixture of potato, carrot, cauliflower, and peas. You can use radish, eggplant, etc. Anything!

*Pav Bhaji masala can be found at your local Indian grocery store. I used the Everest brand as shown. If you don't have an Indian grocery store nearby, there are plenty of youtube videos/blogs with recipes to make your own!

Directions: Bhaji

1. Add all your chopped vegetables to a pressure cooker and add just enough water to where it's barely covered it all. I prefer cooking mine in a pressure cooker because it cuts the cooking time in half, but if you don't have a pressure cooker, you can certainly just add them all into a pot and boil them in water until tender.For the pressure cooker, Generally my vegetables are nice and tender after three long whistles, but just check yours for tenderness.

2. While you've got your vegetables busy in the pressure cooker, get a large pan with high sides and add 2 tbsp butter on medium/high heat. Once the butter is hot, add your chopped onion and cook for a minute. Add grated ginger and cook until the raw smell of ginger goes away. 

3. Next add your capsicum (bell pepper) and let this continue cooking until they start to turn soft. Once they turn soft add all of your chopped tomatoes. 

4. Place a lid on and let this cook, stirring every couple of minutes. After about 5 minutes, go ahead and add all your spices, tumeric, chili powder, pav bhaji masala, and salt. You want to cook this long enough that the tomatoes start to break down completely and it turns more into a gravy. 

5. I've seen recipes that will then take this mixture and mix it in a blinder so that it's more smooth, but I generally don't do that. It's up to you!

6. Going back to the vegetables. Pour out most of the water and just leave a little in the pot. Start mashing them with a potato masher. I like to mash mine pretty thoroughly, but I've seen recipes that leave it chunkier, so that part is up to your preference. 

7. Add your mashed vegetables to your gravy and mix them well. Once combined, taste and adjust the spices to your liking. If I have it on hand, I will also add some chopped cilantro at this time.

Directions: Pav

1. This is pretty simple. For the pav I use hamburger buns, but you can look up other types of appropriate bread, and even pav recipes, if you want to use something else. 

2. Place a large skillet on medium heat and the pan heat up until it's hot. Once hot, rub the pan directly with some butter and quickly plan your bun, cut side down, on top of the melted butter. Then rub butter on top side of the bun.

3. You don't have to do this, but for my preference I flatten the buns with my spatula. When the bottom side started getting nicely toasted I flip them and cook the other side (you don't have to re-butter the skillet, because we already buttered the top side!)

Pav is very easy to make (unless you decide to make your own!). 

This dish is really quite easy to make, and so good! I hope you enjoyed this recipe, and if you had a chance to try it please let me know how yours turned out! =)

Gobi Paratha's

Paratha's are a stuffed Indian flat bread. There are many different kinds of paratha's; aloo (potato), gobi (cauliflower), paneer, and so many more. These paratha's are easy to make and very yummy.

Raj told me that his mom made these for him for lunch for many years when he was in school. He's quite fond of paratha's and gets super excited when I make them! If I'm not feeling like cooking a big meal these are my go to. They are easy, filling, and barely any clean-up afterwards!

Today I'm going to show you how I make my gobi paratha's! Lets get started!

Ingredients:

• Roti dough (Recipe)
• About 1 c. cauliflower, finely grated
• 1-2 tsp cumin powder
• 1-2 tsp red chili powder
• 1-2 tsp coriander powder
• salt to taste
• butter

Directions:

1. First you want to finely grate your cauliflower. I just use my magic bullet blender to grate it up. Just make sure that if you had just washed your cauliflower that it is completely dry. You do not want any excess moisture or it will tear up your paratha's

2. Put your grated cauliflower into a bowl and add your spices to taste. If you want it spicier, add more chili powder. If you like more cumin, add it. It's up to you!

3. Roll out your dough like you're making a roti. Now take a spoon full of the cauliflower mixture and place it on the center of the dough.

4. This is the tricky part. Grab one side of the dough and gently lift it up, then grab the dough next to it and work your way around bunching it together. *Explaining it might be hard, but please look up YouTube tutorials if needed to supplement my explanation of how to make the paratha!

5. Once you have it all bunched together, push the top of it to smoosh it down.

6. Gently start to roll this back out into a flat disk. You want to take your time so that the filling doesn't break the dough or start coming out the sides. Sometimes mine will start showing through the top, but that's okay!

7. Now you're ready to fry it! In a hot tawa or skillet, take a stick of butter and just rub it directly on the pan in two circles (you just want a little butter on the pan). Immediately add your paratha and rub your stick of butter over the top part.

8. Let this cook until it starts getting brown spots on the bottom and then flip. Once the other side also gets brown spots, its all finished!

And there you have it, yummy gobi paratha's. These can be eaten with butter or yogurt (with added cumin and salt). 

Hope you enjoy!

Roti

Roti is an Indian flatbread that is eaten with almost every meal. Contrary to what might be popular belief, that awesome, yummy naan you get at Indian restaurants aren't typically made at home (at least, according to my boyfriend!). Instead, they have roti every day to go with their meals.

I probably make roti 3-4 times a week. The only time I don't is if we're eating a meal that includes rice, like Rajma or Kadhi. My boyfriend says his mother makes roti everyday, lunch and dinner. I'm still learning to make this perfectly. Most of the time I struggle just to roll them into a decent looking circle. Raj's mother is amazing. She can roll on out into a perfect circle without even having to lift the rolling pin. It's very cool to watch, and there are several youtube tutorials that show you how. Maybe one day I'll perfect my rolling technique!

Anyway, let me show you how I make roti!

Ingredients: This will make 6 roti

• 1 c. Chapatti flour (and a little extra for coating)
• Water (varies)

Yes, two ingredients, seriously that's all! Chapatti flour you can find at your local Indian grocery store. If you don't have one of those nearby, you can use all wheat flour that you find at kroger. When I first started making these, I did use that kind of flour. It's not exactly the same, but it works!

Tools:

• tawa, or a large skillet
• rolling pin
• chakla, or counter space will work!

• A tawa is simply like a large flat skillet that is used for frying roti. Before I had this I used a large skillet and it worked just fine!
• A chakla is just a raised wooden board that helps you roll your roti. I went a long time without one of these and I was able to do it fine just on the counter.

Directions:

1. First you want to add your flour to a good size bowl. Add some water and start kneading it with your hand. Slowly keep adding water and kneading until a dough starts to form.

It doesn't matter whether you add warm or cold water, but warm water does make it a little easier to knead.

2. You want to end up with a dough that easily forms into a ball and isn't sticky. If you've added too much water and it is sticky, just add flour until you get it right.

3. Take this ball of dough and separate it into six balls that are roughly the same size (think golfball). I usually roll the dough in my hands to form a snake, this makes it easier to break into smaller pieces evenly.

4. Now you are ready to start rolling! Take one of your dough balls and dip it in some excess flour to coat. 

5. Work on rolling this out into a thin, flat disk. You want to try and make it as round as you can (I still haven't mastered this all the way!). You might find that you need to dip it in flour again if it starts sticking to your rolling pin and that's perfectly fine.

See how mine is far from perfect! No problem. You just want to make sure it's pretty thin.

6. Heat your tawa or skillet on medium high heat. Add your roti and only leave it for 10 seconds. After 10 seconds flip it over. Let this side cook until it starts to bubble a little, or you start seeing brown spots on the underside.

7. Now flip it back on the side you originally laid down for 10 seconds, and gently press on it with a clean kitchen rag (something thin). Now hopefully yours turned out right and when you press on it, it should puff up!

8. Let this side cook for a few seconds or until the bottom starts to look like this . . .

And there you have it! Warm, delicious roti ready to be eaten with your meal. My boyfriend loves to have his buttered, but that's optional.

Hope you enjoy! If you tried to make this recipe please let me know how it turned out!